Brotherly Love

Drew's chalk drawing on the sidewalk of "me and my Bradley."

Operation Christmas Child

I wouldn't normally talk about this in a public forum, but this is a story of waiting on the Lord and Him granting us the desires of our hearts. He alone deserves all the glory for this.

Every year, our church participates in something known as Operation Christmas Child. It is organized by Samaritan's Purse, and while you can read more about it on their web page, put simply, it is an international effort to put shoe boxes filled with wonderful things for children all across the globe who do not have much and the boxes are presented along with the Gospel message.

Since having Drew, I have wanted to participate in this each year when the time rolls around. Our MOPS group participates, setting a new goal each year for how many boxes we hope to collect and pray over before they are shipped out. Well, every year, when it's time to participate, our finances have just not allowed for spending the money on the contents for the box. Yes, by now, I've lost you. Most of you are probably doubting that statement, and thinking something like "Well, really. You can't just forgo a few luxuries and put out the few dollars to send this stuff to some child who has way less than you?" I can't blame you for thinking that, because every year, I've felt silly not participating - guilty even. But every year, at this time, we have just not been able to give up $20 - that $20 was either all we had left to buy diapers or a few groceries, or gas. So, every year, I was gravely disappointed that I, someone who lives in the most privileged nation, and is way wealthier than most people in the world, could not participate in this wonderful ministry to children. I was wanting so bad to make it a family tradition with my children.

Fast forward to this year. I intended to take a box, but like in previous years, the money just wasn't there. As in, no money to pull out of the bank. I felt awful - but knowing that Dave and I are working diligently on the plans the Lord has laid before us, by paying cash for everything, not using credit, etc., etc., etc., we learned that being content also includes recognizing when you have given at the level you can, and waiting on the Lord before you give again. I missed the MOPS deadline, and thought I had missed the church deadline. Yesterday at school, Drew's teacher gave him a box to bring home and fill. Honestly, I was a little annoyed. Not with the teacher, at all, but annoyed because now how am I supposed to explain to my son that we can't fill the box? Annoyed only because I wasn't sure how I was going to explain this difficult topic to my four year old.

I was there at dismissal because I had helped with Drew's class for the last hour and he and I were going to have a Drew and Mommy Date. He was redeeming a reward ticket that called for a "Shop Till You Drop" day. My mom was watching B so Drew and I could spend some time together perusing thrift stores, stopping at the grocery for five things, and somehow, I just knew the Lord was going to provide a way for me to allow my son to "Shop" without spending a load of money. I thought I would be creative with which stores we went to and what types of things I could entice him with in order to not spend money on useless stuff that we don't need.

After my brief 2 seconds of annoyance I mentioned earlier, the Lord gave me my answer! I had previously worked it out in my mind that we would not spend more than $30 yesterday on our 'date,' including lunch. After a $6 lunch for both of us, together, we stopped at a thrift store, bought a DVD for Drew (Old Yeller), and then we went to the Dollar Store. What little boy doesn't just love the Dollar Store?! I explained to Drew before going in that we were there to pick out toys, books, and necessary items for a little boy on the other side of the world who doesn't have much. I explained, as best I could in four-year-old speak, the ministry that would take place because of this box. We went in, and Drew had a blast "shopping" like crazy, picking out all sorts of things to put in the shoe box for this little boy. He could not contain his excitement. He never asked for anything for himself (which is hard not to do in the Dollar Store!). We paid, spent $19, and we were on our way. We picked up the few groceries we needed on the way home, and once home, Drew was more than satisfied with his "Shop till you Drop" afternoon, and felt he had been rewarded with an amazing prize, better than he had even imagined it being.

All that to say, in a very long-winded way, that the Lord may have had me wait four years, but He did grant me the desire of my heart to send a box to a very special child somewhere so that he may be blessed by its contents and hear about the love of Jesus Christ. AND, he planted that desire in my son's young heart, as well.

Top Five Ways Raising Bradley is Like Training a Puppy

5. He chases ice, crazy fast, while panting, when it falls from the dispenser on the freezer.

4. Playtime is just an excuse to rearrange the furniture.

3. He can spot an open toilet a mile away.

2. The second you take your eyes off of him, his hands are either in the trash can or he has the trash can tipped over.

1. He hunts down shoes of any kind just so he can chew on them... YUCK!

Uncle Russell enjoying his beloved baby time during our stay... he adores babies and children.

Uncle Dave and Piper, just chillin' on the couch at Nana's. Do you think he could be any more proud of her? By the way, her dress says Diva in Training. Cute!

A Tender Heart

I was tucking Drew into bed tonight and I was telling him how much I loved him. Then, after a short pause in our conversation, he started to cry. I said, "Andrew - what's the matter? Why are you crying?" He mumbled something through his crying, which was hard to understand, because he was crying as he said it. I said, "Andrew - Mommy is right here. Why are you crying?" He said, "Because I love you."

Me: "You're crying because you love me?"
Drew: "Yes. Waaa, aaa, aaa. "
Me: "Oh, Drew - you have such a tender heart."
Drew: "I have a what?"
Me: "A tender heart."
(Pause)
Me: "Do you know you gave you that tender heart?"(Now this is where I was going to explain to Drew that Jesus is the one who gave him that tender heart because Jesus created him.) But before I got that far...
Drew: "You, Mommy."

Wow - I didn't see that coming. A mile away - not even in sight. I then went on to explain how Jesus was, in fact, the one who gave Drew his tender heart. But I was humbled that my three-year-old can see past all my yuckiness to think that his tender heart came from me. He taught me a lesson in love tonight. Because my children and my husband know that no matter how hard I try, I am human and, therefore, my heart is not always as tender as it should be.

Boys in My House

There are boys in my house – and Spiderman shoes
And 200 papers in various blues.
There's Bob (he's a builder) and Thomas the Train,
There's a fireman coat to wear in the rain.
They have cars on their shirts and frogs on their hats
There's a glove and a ball and a red plastic bat.
There's dirt on a face and a smudge on a nose;
Grass stains on knees and sand between toes.
There's bathtime at night with bodies to scrub,
And when we're all done there is dirt in the tub!
There's bandaids and bruises and curious bumps,
There's smiles and laughter and sometimes there's grumps.
There's odors most icky; there's boogers so green
There's more yucky things than I'll ever get clean.
There's piles of laundry; there's stories at night;
There's bedtime and bathtime and dinnertime fights.
There's cars and there's trains and there's books about trucks
There's Scoop, Lofty, Dizzy, and Travis, and Muck.
Sometimes there are bugs, and sometimes there are frogs;
Sometimes they are lions, or dinos, or dogs.
There are cute little vests and darling neckties
Dragged right through the mud – oh what a surprise!
There's running and climbing and jumping and falling
And laughing and crying and hugging and brawling
And rolling and losing and finding and creeping
And whining and stealing and sometimes there's sleeping.
There's tantrums and time outs and extra loud noise –
There's love in my house shaped like two little boys.
Author: Erin Jo Kilmer

Mother's Day 2010

Dear Andrew and Bradley:

Today is Mother's Day, and I want to share some special words with you. I am in love, crazy love, with your Father. He encourages me to be the best mother I can be, and he is a wonderful example of a godly parent. I love the two sons he gave me more than I thought I could love two little human beings. There will never be enough time or words to cover all the emotions and sentiments I have for you, my family. But this is my attempt to give you a little glimpse.

There is not a single day that goes by where I do not thank God above for giving each of you to us, and to me. I now understand so much more of God's purpose for my life because of my boys. I will never forget each tender moment we have shared, from the first time I laid eyes on each of you, the sleepless nights (more with one of you in particular), the bonding, the cuddles, coos and kisses, the baths, the baby food, and on it goes. Each time I touch your skin and look in your eyes I am reminded of God's design and miracles.

Sure, some days are slightly more challenging than others. Some days I let the house go and we just play, all day. There are a few days when I just can't keep my eyes open. And some days I don't always feed you the best things. Some days I don't say the right things. Some days I don't do the right things. Those days are the days where I know, most assuredly, I am not capable of anything without God.

I also want to tell you that I do not see my being home with you and caring for you as my 'job.' You both are my joy, and caring for you, and our home, is something I desire to do, as best I can, every day. Before beginning this journey of motherhood, I wondered if any of it would come naturally, if I had any mothering instincts. The girl I was before both of you came along longed to be a mother, for so long, but was very unsure how my business-minded self would function outside of a career focus. Oh, how I adjusted- there were days that weren't easy, but generally because I had to realize how selfish I was and that there wasn't room for that anymore. Now, four years into the journey, I hardly recognize that girl in the pumps and glasses. She was part of me, but not all of me.

You will never owe me anything for being your mom. The Lord called me to mother each of you. He did not present a transaction to me where I agreed to fulfill certain responsibilities in exchange for something else. One day, when you are old enough, I hope you will understand that gifts, brunch or dinners out, pampering treatments and the like are not my desire- they are not my style. I do not wish to spend Mother's Day apart from you. Sure it's nice to be appreciated and it's nice to hear thank you once in a while. There are days where I need a little bit of a breather, but not to get away from you, but rather to re-focus myself on my priorities and tend to myself for a short time. The greatest gift you will always be able to give me on Mother's Day is your time. Mother's Day is a day I will always look forward to spending with my boys, that is, until you have families of your own and therefore, time or distance may determine otherwise.

Rest assured this Mommy could not be more fulfilled in her God-designed role to be entrusted with your lives. Overwhelming, and sometimes frightening as it may be, I do not desire to be outside of where God has placed me. There were days, early on, where I could not have said this. But because I've been in that place, I can now look back and see how the Lord has changed, and continues to change, me, to be the Mom I am called to be. None of us ever arrive - we are always works in progress. Mommy will always be a work in progress. There is a song that I hope you will both always keep close in your memory:

He's still workin' on me, to make me what I ought to be
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars
The sun and the earth, and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
He's still workin' on me.

I know I will make mistakes. I know I won't always be the best example I could be, or should be. I know there will be days when I drive you crazy. But I promise to give it my best, and when I don't, I will ask for the Lord to re-direct my steps. Be forewarned- I will never stop loving you. I could never possibly understand accurately how our Heavenly Father loves and feels for us, but motherhood has given me more of an understanding than I had before. What a privilege and a gift each of you are to me.

The Hardest Thing About Boys... Thus Far

... Is that even as infants, I can't hold them as much as I would like. Once they get to be about four months old, they start wiggling out of my arms. They want to move, they want to run, crawl, jump... they are already wired to be movers and shakers. They love the arms of Momma, but not enough to stay put.

I know I only have them for a short time... and once they become men, they won't be desiring Momma's coddling, by God's design. But do I have to let go so early? I just wish I could hold them, rock them, kiss them, indefinitely, until they are at least five - right?

Cousins

Brad, Piper and Drew playing on Drew's new bed.



Can you believe these two are only 4 months apart?! (By the way, Bradley is not poking Piper in the eye- it just looks that way).

What I Found When I Was Cleaning

Daddy, Come Find Me!

Hmmmm. I wonder where Drew could be.... Anyone see Drew?

Homemade Kitchen: Part 2

It has been a LONG time since we started Drew's kitchen project, and it has been done since mid-June. However, I kept forgetting to post a photo of the finished product!

It has served Drew very well - he loves to cook in it. He now has dishes, pots and pans, utensils, food, serving pieces, a stand mixer, a toaster, a phone and a message board! He even 'multitasks' at the stove or oven once in a while by talking on the phone at the same time! Hilarious...

We have had much fun with this kitchen, as have many of Drew's friends when they have come over to play. It is so much nicer than a store bought kitchen, and cost a total of about $25 to make. The wood was free (it was furniture out of the trash). We just cut it up, re-purposed it and constructed several different pieces together to make it work. The 'sink' is a bowl from Goodwill that cost about $1.50 I think. The sink knobs were the most expensive items - $8 a piece from Anthropologie. The hardware on the oven and refrigerator were just a couple dollars at Lowe's. And if you notice, we put a racing stripe on the refrigerator like the one Guy Fieri has.

I give Dave a lot of credit for putting up with my vision for this. He said he did not 'see' it at first, and was somewhat reluctant to put a lot of time into something that he wasn't sure was going to work out. BUT, he stuck with me - I told him I was sure it would work, I just couldn't do the construction myself. In the end, he was very happy to have built it, and is thankful it didn't cost much money at all!

Drew Learns How to Feed Bradley

Two weeks ago, Dave was still at work and I was home with the boys. Long story, but I had a bit of an emergency (clearly I am fine now, so no worries!) and I had to have Drew bring me the bouncy seat into the bedroom so I could put Bradley in it. He was a very good helper, and brought the seat in right away. Well, prior to this, I had been feeding Bradley a bottle in the living room. Drew remembered that, and while I was phoning a neighbor, Drew had returned to the living room, bottle in hand, put it in Bradley's mouth, and sat there feeding him. I could not believe my eyes! What a smart, helpful and loving big brother he is!

A few days later, Drew was showing off his 'skills' to Daddy. Here are some photos of that.

BFFs and Babies

Not everyone knows the story of how Jen and I met in 1996, my freshman year of college. She was the one assigned to a group of freshmen, including me, to show around the campus for 3 or 4 days before everyone else arrived. We lived together our sophomore year, and spent many late nights goofing off and playing jokes on each other and our other roommates.

That's how we met, and it would take me FOREVER to write a post on all the in between stuff, but while we DID NOT EVER plan things this way, we both always secretly hoped one day we could be pregnant together. Well, we were (duh!) and now we both have newborns, four weeks apart. Here is Jen with her sweet Sarah Kate, born Oct. 24th.

October 17th - 19th: 3.5 Weeks

Drew got into Mommy's Makeup!

Yes, when I wasn't looking... he attacked my makeup drawer in the bathroom and came out looking like this:

Mom, I Drew a Whale!

One morning, after breakfast, Drew was playing in the living room while I was straightening the kitchen. He runs up to me, excitedly telling me, "Mom! Look! I drew a whale!"

I was so blown away by his ability to see it in his mind and then transfer that to a drawing that I just have to share it with you.

Mommy & Drew

One of the last nights I tucked Andrew in as an only child... this was just a few days before Bradley was born. We were having so much fun playing in his room and getting ready for bed. Finally, at three years old, he looks forward to his bedtime routine (it only took most of that three year time period to get it this way).

He is my sweet baby boy, and I told him that he will always be my special boy, no matter how many siblings he has. He loves that!

Grandpa & Grandma Gonzalez

I am way behind on blogging and this is my attempt to start to catch up.

In September, Dave's parents left Naples and moved to North Carolina. Of course, we miss them tremendously. We had a nice visit with them right before they moved. It was a week before Bradley was born, so it was hard to see them go when they did. Here are some photos of Drew with his grandparents, having a grand old time. He misses them so much already!